Blue monday

Dear readers.
Yesteday was blue monday. My class went to bakken, if you know what that is. I didn't come. I didn't feel like and when there's something I don't feel like doing, I don't do it. At about 7:30 pm. there was a party at a friends house. It wasn't much fun. We were seperated into groups and there wasn't much party at the "party". I did fin out that I have a crush on a guy from my class and that is just the worst right now.
Sometimes, it feels like he likes me, but then he flirts with other girls too and I don't feel speciel anymore and I'm confused. I told the only friend from the 8th grades that I trust with something like that, because she knows how it feels like, when somene tells everyone who your crush is. Therefor, I know she would never do something like that. It was nice to get it out about how I felt. She gave me one advice and that was to tell him. The problem is that.. I'm scared. I'm scared of being rejected again, scared of he will tell everybody about it. I'm scared of so many things.
I don't want to talk about what happend last night. All I can say is that I felt like crying the whole night, and I thought about it every second.
I don't want to have a crush on him. I really don't. I only want to if he likes me back, but other than that, I don't want to.

Love&Rockets..